Irreverently yours, IIM Bangalore

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Siddhartha Trivedi (PGP 2012-14) tries to clear out all misconceptions about life at IIMB

IIMB Campus - Siddharth

Undergraduate students across the nation know that the conclusion of the examination season is the perfect excuse to sit back, relax and not bother about books for the next couple of months. At IIM Bangalore, however, we believe an empty to-do list is the devil’s workshop. Mere mortals at IIMB cope with the piling load by crediting the only asset they have – hours earmarked for sleeping. I’m convinced that the next financial crisis will be caused by the vast amounts of sleep debt in our system.

There are, of course, a privileged few within the IIM system for whom the normal rules do not apply. This breed of brat is called the Chartered Accountant. Not content with their book cooking exploits for erstwhile employers, these buggers ensure that the rest of the batch burns with envy at their familiarity with the course content. Studies by some fraudulent student clubs at IIMB have established that for every additional hour of work put in by non CAs, the probability of a CA bagging that high paying finance job is 1.

Placements are a touchy topic though. We are the “3 Idiots” generation, convinced that “running after placements” is not the right approach to studies. This is after all an educational institution. So we run after grades instead. The misguided few who prioritise knowledge as their ultimate aim gradually fall in line by the time they are asked to submit the 458th draft of their resume.

This is not to suggest that the placement team does not do an incredibly selfless job of ensuring everyone gets their dream job. Dreams are not only infectious at IIMB, but also very malleable.

Talking of dreams, I would request aspirants not to let their imaginations run wild by the idea of there being a historically high number of women in the current batch at IIM Bangalore. Judging by previous trends, the odds of you getting into McKinsey are a lot higher than your odds of getting into a relationship.

And another point of interest – I finally figured out why the IIM selection process prefers individuals with little work experience. You see, the adaptation of the human palate to mess food is a process which, when disrupted by the gourmet eating habits of the salaried employee, is very difficult to reinitiate. I thank Hanumanji daily for the fact that Dominos delivers to IIMB.

In not so many words, the schedule is hectic, the food is rubbish, dream jobs are difficult to get into, and you are not getting any sleep. Surprised? Neither was I. And that’s why I still absolutely love this place.

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