Or in India, for that matter.
Contrary to all previously acknowledged norms, the shortest distance between two points on Bangalore roads appears to be a series of curves and swerves. Especially for two and three wheelers, whose drivers or riders live charmed lives. Unmindful of their lives, wives and children, these jousting daredevils could beat any cat-o-nine-lives any day.
Of late, especially on Namma Metro MG Road, the two-wheelers have taken to the pavement, adding a new dimension to an already complicated scenario. Sitting in my car in traffic with nowhere to go, it is a great source of amusement to see pedestrians jump hurriedly out of the way of an armada of oncoming bikers.
Far from lane discipline, we are into jostling and edging out the other vehicle. Thus far, I have not been nicked, but the way things are, it can’t be far.
The traffic is like honey oozing its way into the nooks and crannies of freshly toasted bread – insinuating itself into the crisp crust of the flow, filling up every available square inch of the road, and god knows, there’s little enough to begin with! Give her an inch, and a purple Honda scooter will squeeze past you (on the left), and dart in front of you with microns to spare. Why must boys have all the fun?
Of the lot with four wheels the Indicabs take the cake, and some of the paint off too. Taxi drivers have a distinct lack of appreciation for either space or time, and delight in making an already difficult situation just that much more enjoyable. I am seriously tempted to call the numbers listed on their rears, but using a cell phone at the wheel is a crime (as if anybody cares).
And then of course the Mark Tully syndrome kicks in – No Full Stops In India. Autos are what I call constant-motion unit vectors; they change direction, but never velocity. Auto drivers must be mathematical geniuses – they integrate by parts, inching forward constantly and changing direction at will.
Not to mention hand carts, corporation karmacharis actually cleaning the roads (at 7:30 p.m.), tempos, minidors (glorified and powerless autos) and so many more.
I could go on, but I need to hit the road to get home, and am not looking forward to it…
Prof. Bringi Dev is an Adjunct Professor at IIM Bangalore. He has over 30 years of working experience as a professional manager, educator, advisor, consultant and mentor. He teaches Business Communication and till recently managed the extrenal communication function of IIM Bangalore